Can a native speaker of English check structure and grammar of the sentences, thanks?

Six years ago I loved a girl who had a boyish appearance, she had dark bobbed hair and very attractive eyes. It was truly love at first sight. But I was very shy; there was a flush in my cheeks when she looked at me. But I mustered up enough courage to ask for her phone number. She opened my palm and wrote lightly on my hand. A few years later I returned to her city and saw her at the corner of the street, she saw me sand smiled at me. It is a pity that we did not speak.